Online networking is so much of a buzz in the past few years.
Its amazing how many different kind of matchmaking colorful phenomenons there are.


In the "old days" you saw a nice girl, and your goal for the night was to get her first name and telephone number - that is of course if you are the decent kind of guy. One of the few. Anyway, if you did that, than you had to work your way really hard trying to get a date, and than step by step try to get to the whole goal. By which I mean kissing, although I know you thought shagging, nasty readers. :)

Today, all you need is a name. Introduction is almost something that is in the way, because you might leave an uneducated first impression. I mean you would not like talk to a lady before you know her age, birthday, pets name, place of living, music and movie interests, hobbies, corny quotations she finds cool. Also its good to know if you have mutual friends before you talk to her. Without all this its like.. gosh.. the middle ages!

So imagine you have the name, and successfully avoided being introduced, let the hunt begin. Mutual friends can be good or bad depending on many attributes. How do you know them, do they like you, have you shagged nicely or not nicely and many more, the list is endless. Depending on their qualities you might want to use or avoid them. Just delete them from your friends list if she would find them when checking you out. ALWAYS cover your tracks!

You will need to cross reference iwiw (HU), facebook, myvip, myspace and all forums google drops with heavy usage with her nickname - just to make sure. If her profiles differ much, but you are sure its the same girl on the picture, she is probably a skizophreniac psycho - you lucky bastard!

Now that you are at an ideal position when you cleaned your record, it is time to customize your profile to her needs. She is arty, you are arty. She is posh, you posh. She is older, remove your age, she younger - you win. You will need a qotation as well, same direction as hers but even cornier. If she states "I totally love to party", you gotta be the "I KILL MYSELF IF I CANT PARTY" guy. You might also want to create PARTYMYSELFTOPIECES.blogspot.com and spend a couple of days writing pre-dated posts for the last couple of years with detailed monologues of how you behaved as an omnipotent rock star on house and trance parties over the years, with post endings in style, like: gotta go, the AMAZING WILD PARTY IS STARTING, OH MY GOD, YEAH!!!!". Make sure you imply smart usage of CAPS LOCK (here, I just did it). If she has a dog, you need a dog, but cuter. Don't worry, you dont need a real one, its amazing what photoshop and gettyimages can do. Dont worry, she probably has no idea about getty images, or photoshop, or your evil ways for that matter. Avoid dogs that are well known for eating the kind of dogs she has. Its either a bad sign, or you are about to hit the jackpot, if you catch my drift ;)

All you need to do to finish off in style, is to look for someone with the same name, look at her profile, and send a message to your target where you are clearly confusing her with the other person. Make sure you include some bits of your personality she cannot resist, and TADAMM.

Get ready to rumble!

Plan B: go find some real people, enjoy the chemistry when you have it and live a real life :)
Only problem is: real people are closing to extinction with the speed of light.

Over.